LESSON 8: Money Isn't Nothing.

Like many sorta-liberal, sorta-hippie, independent NYC gals in their early 30s, I never wanted to believe a wealthy man was the key to a happy life. On the contrary, in fact. I have dated enough moneybags to know, they’re more trouble than they’re worth. In short, I’ve always found that money often equals freaky, weird, fucked-up.

BUT I also knew I couldn't live with poor.

My career has never ever been the driving force of my life. However, in the last few years, I’ve established one. A decent one, actually. These days, I could easily take care of myself, a small child and even a cute puppy, if one found its way under the Christmas tree. But even in my pre-working girl days of fun, travel and freelance, I managed to live decently, never incurring debt nor sleeping on too many couches (some i admit). Overall, I lived within my means, one pizza slice at a time. Sure, I couldn't afford a lot of banana pudding from Magnolia but I had my basic needs covered. And then, a few years ago, I knew I wanted more. So I got myself a real job. Do I cheer when I wake up every morning to go to work? No. Do I ask for sleepless nights dreaming up the big idea for a reinsurance company? No. Can I live with it, because I’m a grown-up who can take care of myself and contribute to something, anything other than my self-involved self? Yes, sadly.

My point: if you want a grown-up relationship, don't get involved with a pauper. Generally speaking, people who can take care of themselves, financially and emotionally, are more likely to have the bandwidth and ability to support another person—and I'm not talking about financially. Wanna be in a well-balanced relationship? Don't get involved with someone raiding your couch for lunch money.

You may wonder how I define "poor". I actually think of it as more a state of mind than circumstancial. Meaning a 27-year-old creative writing grad student with ambition and potential is very different than a 45-year-old career Dominos pizza delivery boy. And of course, we all have our individual definitions. After the age of 26, I could no longer date another struggling actor. But then again, that probably had nothing to do with the money thing.

Ultimately, you're gonna do what you want to get to where you're going. And hopefully, you'll learn lots of good stuff a long the way. But at the very least, heed my advice: Stay away from actors*—however poor or wealthy. Don't say, I didn't warn you.

*you know the kind