LESSON 3: Play the game...a little

Most people I know would be shocked to see me say something like this. But rest assured, I'm not actually condoning game players, just a little game playing. (like how you can act foolish without being an actual fool. ok, not a good example.)

Truth be told, I've never even played the game. In fact, unlike millions of lovely, intelligent women who went out and bought the book, I never even believed there were rules. I never seemed to be lacking dates so it seemed everyone else in the world was damn crazy, not to mention completely wrong. Well, lo and behold, about a year ago I learned that I was the foolish one (but not the fool, thank you very much). After a few months after dating Kenny (my current bf), he mentioned to me how I made it too easy, how many more flowers I could have received, how many more MEALS I could have been treated to (see my other blog: ), how much nicer he'd still be to me, how many more back rubs... Of course, he said all this half-jokingly but it did make me think: Man, I could've had so much more free PIZZA!!! and back rubs!!

Was I too easy?? Maybe. I looked back long and hard. Ya, it was true. I pretended to like his cooking :) I gave him a drawer at my place. I even told him I loved him first. But my feeling was if you like (or love) someone, you should show it. Life is short, right? Right, I guess. But think of how much BANANA PUDDING I gave up.

Looking back, there wasn’t much doubt in our relationship (outside of our first few dates). And that’s precisely why I should’ve played a little. I wouldn’t have had anything to lose. And I would’ve helped ease Kenny’s monkey mind. He’s admitted as much that he wondered about a girl that was so easy to get. Doubts. My easiness gave him doubts. Precisely, what my kind-hearted soul didn't want to give him. And he goes and haves them anyway! Of course in our case, it turned out fine, but it doesn’t for everyone.

As we all know and I’m willing to admit now, we don’t want anything easy to get. If we did, most of my New Yorker friends wouldn’t be living in this soul-sucking town, eating tuna fish from a can, living in East East East Williansburg, drinking PBR, slaving for the man, working nights and weekends chasing our elusive little dreams....

My point: play a little. I’m not saying you need to conform to expectations. I’m just saying you might save yourself a little grief. And get a bunch more free TUNA SUSHI ROLLS. I’m still of the opinion that if you care for or love someone, you should show it. You should just keep the mystery going for a little while. And think of the free PUMPKIN ICE CREAM you could gain.

Anyway, I have a friend, Inez, who is a prime example of why you should be playing the game. This motorcycle dude she met came on really strong the first two dates. She had liked him but his eagerness gave her the willies, and she had to stop seeing him. Well, after several weeks of reflection, she decided to give him another chance. It seems that he’s backed off not just a little but a lot and suddenly, she’s much more into him. I bet he's enjoying the free BABY BACK RIBS now. Typical story, I guess. And another good example of why you should play…a little.