LESSON 1: Dating is a numbers game

I have a friend named Inez who is back on the dating scene again, after breaking off a 6-year relationship with the completely wrong fellow. (He wasn't a bad man, just played a little too much video poker.) Inez is hitting the online dating world by storm. She's writing and responding to lots of dudes and duds. and I say more power to her. Kenny thinks that corresponding with the guy in the wifebeater and gold chains is a total waste of time. But I completely disagree.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned from dating came from Judy Gee, the sister of the wife of a good friend of my ex-boyfriend, James. And that is: Dating is a numbers game.

I very reluctantly learned how to date, date, date. For most of my 20s, I didn't date. I fell in love. Instantly with most charming men I met. I had such a crazy idea that I could make it work with anyone, however insane, alcoholic, meglo-maniacal or depressive. But by the time I was in my late 20s, I was done and determined not to waste any more time languishing in dead-end relationships. (Though I tried, I assure you.) I didn't want to "make it work" any more. Now I just needed to date. The more, the better. Most of my dates would be completely wrong but some times they weren't. So I would go out on a second date or ninth date or move to Geneva for 6 months for the hot one or the surgeon or the psycho French actor, before the relationship lived its natural shelf-life. And somehow I landed where I am today, 189 first dates later, happy in a relationship.

The lesson here: date. Date any and all, given they aren't seemingly psychotic, cruel, dumb or repulsive. Go out with the person once. Twice if the idea doesn't make you want to yak. You don't need to fall in love with all of them. In fact, you probably won't fall in love with most of them. But man, you sure do learn a lot about what you want, what you can live with and what you can't. I never knew that the foreign man I always imagined myself to be with would be a Cajun Redneck from Louisiana. (I love you Kenny)

So Inez, give him your number. Even if he's greasy-headed and has giant diamond-crusted pinky rings. Cause what's there to lose? An hour drinking sambuca? (One sambuca, Inez). Maybe, you'll even fall in love with him and get him to wear crew-neck t-shirts. Or maybe not. But you'll never have to wonder about it.